The lies and pain
by jentomboy
Summary: Roxas wonders if Riku really loves him, or if his heart still belongs to "him." To find out who "him" is read! RikuxRoxas


This one is for my best friend-burn your bridges-for her chirstmas/b-day gif. She really enjoyed it, so I hope you do too!

Review, fav, or whatever. Also if you think I could imporve on something, then say so!

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><p>Roxas looked over at his lover, Riku. Riku was sleeping peacefully on his side in <em>their<em> queen sized bed. Riku's chest slowly raising then falling in tune. Roxas smiled. Pushing aside the covers, he put on a robe and walked over to the large window in _their_ bedroom.

The sun was slowly coming up, slowly erasing the darkness from the sky-along with the stars. Roxas smiled.

As he looked up at the sky he began to ponder and wonder was Riku really _his_? Or was he just a replacement for him?

Roxas snorted quietly. Why was he pondering such ridiculous things? Of course Riku was _his_. They did live together, and have been for a year now. They had sex every night. They even lived together happily… or did they?

Roxas looked at Riku-who was still sleeping. Was Riku really happy with him? He smiled at Roxas everyday, but at night he would "sneak" away and come back early in the morning-just before the sun was to come up. When Roxas was doing laundry and walked past _their_ room, he could hear Riku talking to someone. But when he opened the door, no one would be there.

Roxas moved away from the window, and tipped toed out of the room. He quietly moved down the stairs that connected to the living room. He turned on the light switch, lighting up the living room. Quietly he walked over to Riku's study room.

Roxas stopped at the door. He knew it was locked, but he also knew where the key was. Standing on his tippy toes, he grabbed the key from the top of the door frame. Smiling in success, he unlocked the door and walked in.

Riku's study had books stacked and pilled on the floor. He had maps laid out all over his desk. Roxas carefully moved over to the desk-carefully not to trip over the books-and looked at the map of all the worlds. There was a candle lit on the desk.

The map had red X's on almost every world. The only worlds that wasn't in red was Deep Jungle, 100 Acre Woods, and Monstro. Now, to a normal person this would seem like Riku was marking out the places he has travelled, but Roxas knew the truth.

He bit his lower lip. His tightened his hand into a fist. He blinked away the stinging tears in his eyes. Riku was searching for him. Ever since he had disappeared, Riku was searching for him every night.

Roxas had never met him, but Riku constantly talked about him as if his life depended on it! Apparently Riku was possed by Aslem and had taken his heart making him a heartless. After that Riku had never seen him again.

Roxas jumped when he heard a noise. He turned around, expecting it to be Riku.

"Meow."

Roxas sighed in relief. It was just their orange cat. He slowly walked over to the cat. "Come here Sora." He whispered.

Sora purred as he was picked up. He rubbed his head against Roxas's chest.

Roxas laughed, petting the cat. "Good boy, Sora." He frozen. His eyes widen.

_'That's right,'_ he thought, _'his name is Sora.'_

Roxas thought back to when they first got there cat.

**Roxas was sitting in his chair, waiting for Riku to return from his job. He was on the last page of his book, when he heard the unlocking of the front door. Jumping up for joy he ran to the door.**

**"Welcome home Riku-" He stopped when he saw a cat in Riku's arms. His left eye twitched as he stared at it. "What is that?"**

**"A cat." Riku replied with a smart-ass smirk. **

**Roxas rolled his eyes, but smiled. "I know that! Where did you get it?"**

**Riku held up one finger-he always did this when he wanted to point out something. "First off, it's a he. And second of all, I found him on the streets. We're keeping him."**

**Roxas knew not to objected. Riku always won. Plus he sort of liked the cat-he looked fun. Smiling he went over to pet the cat. "What should we name him?" He asked.**

**Riku smiled. "Sora."**

**A week later Riku had quit his job, and built a study in their house. Days at a time he would stay in there, doing God knows what. Sometimes he would skip meals. Roxas began to worry about him, but right before he could call a therapist, Riku went out of his study and took Roxas to their bedroom.**

**Roxas was filled with happiness for a month, but then Riku began to disappear at nights. Roxas had asked him why he left so much, and Riku replied, "to find him."**

Roxas was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard the screaming of Sora. Roxas looked down at the cat, and realized he was squeezing the poor thing. "Ah! Sorry!" He said. He put Sora down on the ground.

Sora glared at Roxas before running off. Roxas sat down in Riku's desk chair. He stared at the map-wondering where Riku would head off next-when he noticed something was under the map. He picked the map up and gasped.

There laying under the map was a picture of Riku with his arm around another boy with brown hair. Roxas's eyes began to water. _'So, this must be Sora…'_

He jolted his head up when he heard the door opening. He jumped out of the seat, dropped the map back on the desk, and hid under the desk.

He quietly listened to the footsteps of the person. They were quick heavy footsteps. They were coming towards Riku's desk.

Roxas closed his eyes tight.

The footsteps stopped in front of the desk. Roxas knew who it was. It was Riku. Riku always came to his study this early in the morning to plan where he would go next.

"Don't worry Sora," he said, "I'll find you. Then we can be together forever."

Roxas jumped out from under the desk. Riku jumped back in surprised. "Roxas! What are you doing here-" He stopped once he noticed the tears running down Roxas's eyes. "R-Roxas?" He moved towards the younger boy with his arm stretched out.

"Stay back!" Roxas yelled.

Riku froze where he was. Never before had Roxas yelled at him. "Roxas, what is the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me? What the hell do you think! I heard what you said a few minutes ago. You want Sora back to replace me!"

"No I don't!"

"Oh really?" Roxas pointed towards the map. "Then, why do you spend all of your time searching for him?"

Riku sighed. He sat down in his chair with his arms crossed. He his head was down. "He was-no, is-my best friend. He was also my rival. We would practice fighting moves on each other everyday until the sun went down. On some rare day we would lay on the beach, watching the clouds go by. I know I said he was my best friend. . .but he was also…."

Roxas leaned forward. He wanted to know more. He had to know what Riku really thought of him and Sora. Which one was more important?

The light from the candle seemed to flicker towards Riku-as if also wanting to listen to the story. It made Riku's body glow. He took in a deep breath before continuing. "He was. . .my true love."

The world seemed to go silent after those three little words. Riku's mouth was moving, but Roxas couldn't hear him. The room started to spin. The colors started to dance in front of Roxas's eyes, but soon they turned to darkness.

Roxas awoke in their bed. The room was it's normal blue color-Riku's favorite. He looked down at the covers and saw they were there normal red color-Sora's favorite color. Looking at the color burned his eyes. Feeling the color on him made his skin burn. Roxas threw the covers off of him. He looked down and saw he was in his boxers.

He starched his head in thought. _'Did I fall asleep like this-'_ Then he remembered the events that happened earlier.

**_'He was. . . .my true love.'_**

Roxas grabbed his chest. He felt the pain circled around his heart started to snap him. It hurt more than any pain he ever felt. "Riku. Riku." He whispered to the night air. He looked beside him, and saw no one was laying next to him. Slowly getting up he walked towards the door in search for his white haired lover.

The cold wooden floor boards squeaked with each step the blonde took. The moon light from the window shined on the floor, lighting his way to the study room. The study room door was open. Roxas slowly crept towards it-in case Riku was there he did not want to scare him.

He reached the study, only to find it empty. The candle from earlier was no longer on. Roxas felt disappointed and scared. Had he left to find Sora? Had he left for good?

Roxas slowly backed away and ran back to their bedroom. He opened the door. He ran to their closet. He threw open the door, and gasped at what he saw. There in the closet was…only Roxas's clothes. Riku's were gone.

Roxas fell to his knees. He knew he should have been crying, but he couldn't. He had cried too much that night. He pounded his fist against the floor. "It's not fair! It's not fair!" He began to chant.

His pounding slowed down. His fits was red and suffered much pain, but he ignored it. He whimpered. "Riku," he whispered, "come back."

He threw his head back and screamed, "COME BACK!"

**Chapter 2**

_May 17, 2015._

_Dear Diary,_

_It has been five years since Riku left. Everyday I am haunted by dreams of the events of…that night. I try my hardest to change it, but it always ends the same. I've learned to let the dream to as it wishes._

_I feel my heart being eaten away by the darkness. I have no idea why it hasn't yet, and I wish it would just eat my heart away so I can escape from the pain. The suffering._

_Well I better head off to my job._

_Goodbye diary.._

Roxas shut the diary. He grabbed his jacket and ran out of his house. The streets of Traverse Town were full of different creatures from different worlds. Roxas easily went past all of them.

He ran into a café. It was full just like it was outside. He took his jacket off, and placed it on a coat rack.

"Ah Roxas! I'm glad you finally made it!" Roxas's boss said to him.

Roxas blushed. "Sorry I'm late. I was uh, busy."

"Whatever. Just get on your uniform and get to work!"

Roxas uniform was a short blue shirt that showed off part of his stomach, and blue short shorts that showed off too much of his legs. Roxas loved the color because...It was Riku's favorite color. But he hated the attention it got from customers.

"Hey hot stuff! Another round of beer!" One of the male customers shouted at Roxas.

Roxas turned and smiled. "Anything for a stud like you!"

The male blushed and whispered something to his friends.

Roxas turned away. His smile dropped. He walked towards the back, and filled up a mug full of ice cold beer. He looked around to make sure no one was looking, and spit in the beer. "Enjoy the present, boy."

The sun was hidden by snow clouds when Roxas left work. His jacket held tightly to his skin, but still couldn't save him from the bitter cold wind. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked into a alley that was ten miles from his work. The alley was a shortcut to his house that he took everyday. It was the safest one in the town. . .or was it?

"Hey hot stuff!"

Roxas turned around and saw the male from earlier. He had a blush on his face showing that he was drunk-and boy did he smell like it!

"What the hell are you doing here?" Roxas spat.

"Aw, come on baby, don't be like that." The drunk walked toward Roxas, swayed left and right. "How about we have some fun?"

Roxas snorted and walked away. "In your dreams."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

Roxas was pushed down to the ground by someone. He fell on the hard ground, his face near broken glass from a nearby window. He tried to get up, but someone grabbed his head and slammed it on the ground. Roxas heard laughing from above.

He turned his head up, and saw the drunks friends, from earlier, where all around him, smirking. Roxas's eyes widen, his mouth trembled, his pulse quickened. He knew what this meant-he saw it on TV. He squirmed, trying to get away, but was held down by another friend.

"Hey, boss," one of them said, "what should we do with this blonde beauty?"

The drunk male, named Boss, slowly walks up to Roxas. He leans in face close to Roxas's. Roxas could smell the café beer on his breath. Boss put his hand through Roxas's hair, slowly petting it. Roxas cringes.

Boss gets up, and smiles very satisfied at his friends. "Let's have some fun."

Roxas was turned over. His hands were held above his head, and his legs were held down. He felt his pants being pulled down. "N-No! stop!" He cried.

One of the boys glared at him. "Shut up!" He raised his hand, ready to slap Roxas.

Roxas closed his eyes, waiting for the pain.

"Hey! Let go of my hand!"

"Who the hell is that?"

"Look bud, if your looking for trouble then you got it-"

Roxas heard the sounds of someone's foot hitting someone's face. Then he heard bodies falling to the ground. He heard groans of shame and pain. The last thing he heard was someone beating eggs against the wall.

He opened his eyes, and gasped at what he saw.

Riku was beating Boss's face against the wall. "Riku?" Roxas said.

Riku stopped. He looked at Roxas and smiled. "Hey blondy. Miss me?"

Roxas pulled his pants up, and stood up. He walked over to Riku, his eyes half opened. He stopped in front of Riku. He stood on his tippy toes. "Riku." He whispered.

Riku wrapped his arms around Roxas's back. "Yes?" He whispered back.

"Come closer."

Riku leaned closer.

Roxas raised his hand, and….slapped Riku's cheek as hard as he could.

Riku stumbled back. He placed his hand on the place where he got hit. It sung like a bee sting. His eyes were wide as he stared at Roxas.

Roxas's hand was still raised. Tears started to build up in his eyes. He tried his best to hold them back._ 'I won't cry.'_ He thought. _'I won't cry. I won't give him the pleasure of seeing me cry.'_

Riku stood there for awhile with his mouth hanging open. There were words he wanted to say, but they were stuck in his throat.

Roxas took a step back. His kept his tough glare on Riku. He was ready for Riku to slap him back, or punch him, or something that would cause him harm.

When Riku finally snapped out of shock, he crossed his arms and smirked. "I deserve that."

Roxas huffed. He turned away from Riku. "Did you find him?"

"Yes."

Roxas stiffened. He bit his lip. Tears began to fall from his eyes, and slid down his cheeks. He shut his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He gasped as more fell from his eyes.

Without knowing it, Riku had walked up to him from behind and wrapped his arms around Roxas. "Don't cry." He whispered in Roxas's ear.

Roxas shook his head. "Why shouldn't I?" He asked. "You left me to look for him, and now you found him."

"Do you see him with me?"

Roxas opened his eyes. He took a quick look around, and saw no one expect Riku and the passed out boys. He turned around in Riku's arms, so now they were face to face. "What happened?"

Riku sighed. He took his hand, and lightly brushed away Roxas's tears from his cheeks, then his eyes. "I, well, I found him." Riku looked down as he spoke. "But he wasn't the same."

Roxas crocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

Riku took a deep breath. "He was…different. He no longer remembered me. I don't think he even remembered himself. I found him at 'End-Of-The-World,' where I left him. I tried to talk to him, but he attacked me! Normally a heartless like him is weak, but he had gotten stronger over the years.

"Anyway, he attacked me. I defended myself, and dodged so I wouldn't have to attack him, but he kept coming at me. Soon he called his new friends to attack me. I had to bring out my key blade to beat them off-I had no trouble fighting his friends.

"Soon it was me and him again. I was getting tired, but he wasn't. I tried to call out his name, and tried to remind him of the good times we have together, but he wouldn't listen. Finally he went for my heart, and I…."

Riku stopped. His bottom lip began to shake.

Roxas took Riku's head into his hands, and forced Riku to look into his eyes. "You destroyed him, didn't you?" Roxas asked.

Riku nodded. He hugged Roxas close to him, and laid his head on Roxas's shoulder. Roxas could feel his shoulder getting wet. Roxas sighed. He rubbed Riku's back.

"I shouldn't forgive you." He said. "But since you lost the one you truly love, then I guess I can."

Riku removed himself from Roxas. He looked right into Roxas's eyes. "Roxas...how could you say that?"

Roxas glared at him. "That's what you said years ago! I'm just repeating your words!"

Riku's eyes widen, then softened as if he remembered. "I know what I said was awful, but that was before I realized what you really meant to me. I took you for granted, I realized that now, and I am truly sorry."

Roxas rolled his eyes. He pushed Riku away from me. "You're just replacing me with Sora! There is no way you truly love me!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

"But I do! I've changed!"

"Prove it!"

Riku took a deep breath. He got down on one knee, and took out a yellow box-Roxas's favorite color. "Will you marry me?" He opened the box, and inside was a huge diamond on a golden ring. Roxas gasped. He wasn't sure what emotion he was feeling right now-it was a mix between happiness and anger. Soon the happiness took over the anger.

"Well?" Riku asked.

Roxas opened his mouth to speak, but no words could describe what Roxas was feeling. He nodded his head, then hugged Riku tight.

-Four years later-

"Riku, do you want some more coffee?"

Riku looked up from his newspaper to his husband Roxas. Roxas was wearing a blue apron and holding a pan filled with eggs and bacon. Riku smiled. "No thanks."

Roxas smiled back then went back cooking for the **third** person.

Over the years Riku had become Mayor of Traverse Town, and boy was he the best they ever had. One of these breakfast together was rare because of Riku's job, but Roxas didn't mind. He knew Riku was busy, and he knew how hard Riku tried to get off work early to spend time with him.

Roxas had quit his job at the café so he could be full time to take care of Sora and-

"Mama! Dada!"

Roxas snapped out of his thoughts, and turned just in time to see a little girl ran into the kitchen. Her golden hair was messy, and ended at her feet. She wore pink silk pyjamas that were a little to big for her-the sleeves went past her hands, and she was constantly tripping over the bottoms.

Her cheeks were pink with delight as she ran over to Roxas. She hugged his leg. "Mama! What's for brewkfaet?"

Roxas smiled. He put the pan down, and picked the little girl up. He kissed her cheek making her squeal in delight. "What would you like?" He asked.

The girl thought for a moment. She put her finger to her chin, and looked up at the ceiling with her big bright blue eyes. "Hmmm….pawcakes!"

Roxas giggled. He nodded his head then sat her down on to the ground. She ran off, and took a seat on Riku's lap. Riku looked down at her. "What cha doing squirt?"

The little girl looked up at him. "Sitten."

"Sitten where?"

"In dada's lap."

Roxas smiled. He knew how much Riku loved to her his adopted daughter call him dada. Roxas thought back to when they first met her.

~Three years ago~

**"Did you like the movie?" Riku asked.**

**Roxas nodded. He leaned his head on Riku's shoulder.**

**Both were walking down main street, dressed in their winter clothes. It had began to snow before they left the house. On their way down the street, Roxas noticed a little girl sitting on the street with hardly any clothes on.**

**Without saying anything, Roxas pulled Riku over to the little girl. Riku said nothing as he was dragged along-he probably knew why.**

**The little girl looked up at them. She held no fear in her eyes, nor showed any signs of danger. This tore at Roxas's heart strings. If a little girl on the street wasn't scared of you, then she has been through more shit then Roxas could think of.**

**Roxas knelt down beside the girl. "Hey," he said in a quiet tone, "what's your name?'**

**The little girl looked at him. She stared at him for awhile before shaking her head.**

**Roxas raised a eyebrow.**

**"It means she can't talk." **

**Roxas looked at Riku-who had his arms crossed. He was looking past Roxas to the little girl. Roxas looked at the little girl, and took in her looks.**

**She had dark blonde hair that was most likely dirt. Her cheeks were red with fever. Her white shirt's sleeves were torn, along with the cover-exposing her bare chest. Her blue shorts covered in knife cuts, and dirt. Roxas had a feeling that the knife cuts wasn't from a normal act of meanness.**

**Slowly, without thinking, Roxas picked the little girl up, and held her close. The little girl looked up at him. Roxas turned back to Riku. "Riku-"**

**Riku held up his hand to cut him off. "Don't even say it."**

**Roxas's eyes widen. He held the girl tight, afraid Riku's answer might make her disappear forever.**

**"We're taking her home."**

**Roxas smiled. He held out the little girl to Riku.**

**Riku took the little girl into his hands. He looked down at her. "Would you like to come home with us?"**

**The little girl placed her little finger on her chin, and looked up at the sky, as if thinking. After a moment she looked back at Riku, and poked his nose.**

**He smiled. "I'll take that as a yes."**

**They both named her Meiko.**

**A year later they taught her to talk, and boy did she talk, but she never talked about her past. They never forced her to because they both understood that something must have scared her to not make her talk.**

**A month after that, she began to call them mama and dada. (Roxas has no idea how he was named mama.)**

Arms wrapping around him snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned and saw Riku. Smiling, he lightly tapped Riku on the forehead with his wooden spoon. Riku faked a pout, making Roxas giggle.

Both heard Meiko whine. "Mama! Hunwy!"

Roxas smirked. "Hang on sweetie."

Roxas turned and went back to cooking.

He was truly happy with his life.


End file.
